canceled flight abroad

the hardest part is to start

from the middle   from behind   from without      from within

the hardest part is staring down a blank page

as white as light

as light as us

as fresh as virginity

forced to destroy its perfect vast endless potential with your inadequacies

defiling it with you childhood traumas and blunt metaphors

ruining it with your contrived pipe dreams              can’t you at least be original in those?

can’t you leave it blank

like new life   not yet corrupted by promises

can’t you leave it blank

like a glass that never grows   like a glass that never outgrows all the water in the world until its original contents seem like pathetic drops in the enormous glass   surrounded by promise

can’t you leave it blank

like a mystery

can’t you leave it blank

like what if

can’t you leave it blank

like not falling in love

can’t you leave it blank

like potential

the hardest part is to start

wouldn’t it be nice if we could start at the end

but here i am

nothing nice

nothing made

at the end 

just black marks on a once virgin page

and an empty glass in my hand

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I feel the crushing weight of stagnated souls, clawing at my fury.

Faceless people sucking hope from around them, pulling it in to feed the monster, to darken the abyss, to stretch the void.

I feel the dim light of rebellion flickering – treading against the current, pleading to be stoked.

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Rom-Trag

We’ll exchange eyes as the doors of the metro close.

Tearing in two what is and what will never be.

Churning and festering, clawing and growing until the “what if” explodes into the stars.

Ration battles romance, truth taunts imagination, until rationalization enters stage right, and hope exits stage left.

Ignorance is bliss.

 

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Song of Myself

Mutiny of monotony tickles through mind; shrill buzzing of the ever present illuminating figure.
Deity buzzing, buzzing,
Deity watching, judging.
Leather found, ground bound, perils of “comfortable”

Interminable cycles of insidious nature hypnotize, metastasizing; for toxic beginnings are fated for a toxic end.

Flicker, flicker, buzz, buzz, forget, forget – repeat. 

O yellow skin, o rotten teeth, o vessel betrayed, nothing hurt. 
Nothing told, nothing ran, but most, nothing felt! 

Flaking and boiling, churning and stewing, last fingers stomped, then let go. 
Touch the poison, come o nightfall, to ease once more into the sweet song of nothingness. 

Flicker, flicker, buzz, buzz, forget, forget – repeat. 

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us.

You run on strings, I chase the day

we’ll settle there, we’ll never stay

We kiss a kiss, most violent kiss,

we’ll dance on ice, speaking through each others lips

we’ll grasp for things that stoke our flames.

Making love in the night, it couldn’t be tamed

we’ll sleep in pages, my words at your breast,

Truth in your eyes, poetry on my breath.

We’ll find the sun but chase the moon,

the most passionate love always burns out too soon.

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the ideal.

Your breath on my breath, we dissolve one another,
dissecting our bodies in a dimly lit room. 
Scorching the boundaries, defining new treaties, 
I’ll lie to myself that our love is in bloom. 

tarnished ring

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A wish granted, a wish received
The most beautiful danger I've ever perceived
Mouth saying no, eyes whisper yes
Carnal desire for our bodies pressed
To steal a taste, no permission received
Our tongues writing memoirs for our bodies that plead
For release and for answers our minds do present
But restrained by the shackles that make you repent
For acceptance into the warm arms of flesh
I wait bated breath for your mouth to say 'yes'.

Compañero

Your arresting pale eyes act as my compass.

A sanctuary for my soul, whispering that I can place my feeling in your heart shaped box. Fill the void that hides from my heart in my words.

You are spirit, you are love, hark you are no longer an idea chased in ink! Ever eluding me by dancing word to word in beautifully disgusting distractions.

We’ll meet again when soul meets body; until then, live on by taunting me in my own terrible syllables.

 

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Romantic voyeur Act. III OR Uffizi lovers reprise

Tempt me. Taunt me. Tell me your lies.  Anything I’d ever want, behind those green eyes. 

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Festering regret as I replay frame by frame your exit stage left.  I’ll chase that elusive embrace that will never be. Because love is blind, and love is mad.

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Love is blind, but love is not deaf.  For you make me hear the music in every last syllable.  

 

Romantic voyeur Act. I

You burned your heart on your sleeve, so he’d know where to look. But his fear and loathing consumed, like a parasitic idea, and he hid in himself. Now your regret is stained on your wrist, like the tears that stained your face; and you hide behind smiles so they’ll never get you again.